McSweeney’s

My fellow Americans, despite what everyone else says, we are living in the golden age of America. Not your golden age, though. My golden age. As in: I am very old, and everything I own is either solid gold or gold-plated or painted in gold to make it seem like it’s real gold.

Honestly, I’m not actually sure if this is funny given it’s basically a fact-based reporting. Or at the very least, more factual than anything coming out of this administration.