June 3, 2019 🔗
I dashed into a bathroom so single-mindedly I didn’t turn on the lights and collapsed onto the toilet. The immediate release, shrouded as it was in shadow, was cosmic, like waking up from a nightmare, realizing it’s Christmas, I’m 5 years old, and can fly. Though I haven’t yet been able to recreate every condition, to this day I try to dump in total darkness: no lights, no phone, the gulf between mind and body quaked shut. Browning in blackness brings ethereal gifts. I am one with the early Homo sapiens who shat in the field by starlight, and with my pre-industrial ancestors who made midnight mud pies between first and second sleep, having nothing to ponder but the majesty of the task at hand.
I don’t know… I feel like this is prime-time for reading that I don’t think I can give up. Maybe that’s just me.